Hello and welcome!

I’ve always dreamed of being an author and couldn’t be more excited to see my first book, The Love Project, in print. I’m a journalist, moderator, commentator, mother, and adventurer. A regular contributor to the BBC World Service and host of the Fresh Dialogues interview series, my mantra is: ask fresh questions and you’ll get fresh answers.

My interviews and writing have appeared on BBC TV and World Service, NBC, MSNBC, NPR’s KQED, Public Radio International, and the Huffington Post. I enjoy moderating events and conducting interviews internationally. Explore my journalist page for interview and report archives, and come see me in person.

I have led workshops and given lectures internationally, but volunteering in the classroom at Rancho Cielo, a Salinas school for disadvantaged youth, is my greatest source of inspiration. The students energize me with their tenacity, humor and big dreams.

BREAKING NEWS: The LOVE Project was chosen as an Editor’s Pick by Publisher’s Weekly. The reviewer compared it to the NYT’s Modern Love, Aaron Feinberg et al.’s Meet Cutes.”

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Questions & Answers

Why did you write The Love Project?

My mother, who’d been a widow for over twenty years, found an unexpected new love in her life at the age of eighty-nine. Paul became her “special friend” and they bonded over their faith, love of gardening and nature. Although he’s ten years younger, they share the same birthday: June 18th. He’s a punny guy and brings lots of warmth and laughter to her world.

Meanwhile, a horrible accident while traveling in Mexico upended my world. I returned home feeling physically bruised and overflowing with anxiety. I lost my mojo and questioned everything. A lifelong optimist, I became obsessed with the question of purpose.

The joy I witnessed in my mother was like a ray of sunshine in my gloomy world and some of her wisdom returned to me: “When you’re down, “Do something for someone else!” So I decided to write a book to celebrate the love she’d found and to thank her for gifting me her insatiable curiosity.

Her other advice was profound. When I was interviewing celebrities and provocateurs like Arianna Huffington, Yvon Chouinard, Tom Friedman and Elon Musk, she often asked me: “Why don’t you interview ordinary people?”

In Silicon Valley, I was always chasing after the next high profile interview. Life felt like racing on a swift six-lane highway. But moving to Carmel gave me time to reflect on the stories that matter most. Lately, I’ve been moving at a slower pace — meandering down a bucolic country lane — with Mum on my mind and have time to breathe and enjoy the view. Her love story inspired me to use the lens of love to explore the transformative power of connection and the remarkable love stories here on my doorstep.

What is your hope for The Love Project?

I hope the stories will bring people joy at a challenging time in our world. I hope the stories will help nourish empathy and a sense of our shared humanity. I hope readers will see the potential for their community to be a warm and compassionate place, not lonely and polarizing. When we meet people who are different from us, instead of defaulting to division and distrust, what if we could — like Chris and Kairi in The Love Project — default to love, and embrace the things we have in common?

What specific life lessons did you learn from The Love Project?

I was touched by each storyteller’s courage and wisdom as they shared their poignant journeys. We shared joy and laughter as they revisited good times, and tears as they recalled their struggles and pain. Here are some things I learned:

How to develop and nurture deeper bonds with loved ones.

The power of loving-forgiveness and acceptance.

How to move beyond fear, self-doubt, and find pockets of joy.

That it’s possible to move beyond the betrayal of close family members.

You can make changes to your mindset that can open your heart to love.

Channeling your regrets about love can become a community force for good

Nourishing an attitude of gratitude is key to finding lasting joy and love.

You can get back on track with love after a painful breakup or rejection.

It’s possible to find purpose, even joy, after a loved one’s death.

My mother reminds us all it’s never too late to find the love of your life.

What books and other media helped inspire The Love Project?

Modern Love, The New York Times column was an early inspiration. It made me think: what if I write a series of love stories that take place in one of the most romantic places in the world, Carmel-by-the-Sea?

The book How to Know a Person by David Brooks was enormously impactful. David explores the art of understanding and connecting with others at an intimate level. He emphasizes the importance of ‘illuminators,’ people who have a persistent curiosity about others and a knack for understanding them. He describes E.M Foster as a gifted illuminator: “To speak to him is to be seduced by an inverse charisma. He listened with such intensity you had to be your most honest, direct self.” I aspired to become an ‘illuminator” and get to know my Carmel neighbors more deeply.

Sharon Salzberg’s book Loving Kindness says, “the practice of loving-kindness is about cultivating love as a strength, a muscle, a tool that challenges our tendency to see people (including ourselves) as disconnected, statically and rigidly isolated from one another.” I hope The Love Project will help augment our sense of community and connection in similar ways.

The documentary Don’t Pave Main Street: Carmel’s Heritage was also influential. It’s narrated by Carmel’s most famous mayor, Clint Eastwood.

I thought a simple collection of love stories would be beautiful but early readers asked: what’s the thread that holds them all together? I realized it was me, and so, reluctantly, I inserted strands of my own journey –from despair to finding optimism– into the book. One by one, each storyteller helped me shake off my fears and negativity and find a deeper sense of community connection and hope for a brighter future.

Did you discover the secret Bashar describes in Part One?

Got more Questions?

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